Hey Jesus,

I barely have the words to say to pray or the focus, so please help me in my weakness, Lord. You are the Maker of all people and everything holds together in You. You were the ultimate example of love and perfect obedience. Thank you for dying on the Cross for me and for being faithful when I am unfaithful, which seems like all the time lately. God, I confess to you my doubt. I’m sorry for being angry and upset with you about the injustices here. I’m sorry for thinking that my ways and my sense of justice are great than Yours. I know you are the one who gave me compassion and a sense of right and wrong. I am just struggling to understand how You could know all this would be and still let it happen. Father, I’m praying that you help me trust that you are good and loving and totally in control. I’m praying that you will help me see that every tear, every act of evil, and every injustice will be repaid and fully redeemed. Those who I’ve seen suffer here—those with leprosy, beggars, poor mothers with hungry children, little street boys, raped women, trafficked girls, those in trapped in low caste systems, those who labor all day for little reward, and those worshiping false idols—need the Gospel just as desperately as I do. Jesus, your promise of eternity must be awesome, beyond my wildest dreams if it is worth all the pain and suffering in the world. Help me to see You—your goodness-love-compassion-justice-mercy-sovereignty-and redeeming qualities in the midst of a fallen world. My longing for justice and something better than all of this only reveals more how true and real You are. I love you!

The Daughter of the Most High,

Tay

Sometimes, it’s best to just be honest with God.

After almost six whole weeks here, here is a summary of the quirkier moments in Nepal, both good and not so good!

Top 10:

10. Drinking a pot of Nepali tea every morning at breakfast

9. Making homemade cookies with Toblerone chocolate at Sarah’s (once we finally found all the ingredients)!

8. Winning Mafia in a historical defeat

7. Seeing the Himalayas peaking out behind the monsoon-season cloudy skies

6. Momos

5. Rickshaw rides

4. Riding elephants in a river

3. Running from a rhino in the jungle!

2. High-fiving Emilee when our toilet finally flushed

1. Listening to the sound of little voices singing praises to God at the children’s homes

Not Top 10:

10. Waking up with 50+ bug bites on my legs

9. Not being able to eat cookie dough because of real fear of getting salmonella

8. Paying 350 rupees for tiger balm

7. Walking by shops of fly-covered raw meat, freshly plucked chickens and bloody goat heads

6. Almost tripping over a monkey during a morning run

5. Checking for ants in my tea every morning

4. Finally getting brave enough to use the squatty potty, only to find the floor and walls are covered with worms, spiders, and cockroaches

3. Taking a cold shower by candlelight

2. Missing two of my sisters’ and my dad’s birthdays

1. Leaving Nepal

So I’ve blogged a lot about our experiences, but there is a big piece missing to this story. That piece is how this trip has been affecting me personally. I should preface this by saying that my team is absolutely incredible (I can’t stress that enough) and that my experiences have been more than wonderful. I wouldn’t change a thing! However, the reality is that this has been one of the most challenging experiences of my life. Amazing, of course. Exciting, absolutely. But wow, has it been difficult. I’ve heard from a lot of people that marriage is good if you want to see where you’re real sin issues are…well I’d say just spend a summer in Nepal if you want to know! I figured that God was going to teach me a lot, but I thought it would be all about trafficking, orphans, and Tiny Hands—-not about my selfishness, doubt, and insecurity!

The culture here has been a really tough adjustment. Seeing all the brokenness is exhausting and heart-wrenching. Every day, we walk by street children begging us for money and food, extreme poverty, people with leprosy lying along the sides of the road, trash-filled streets and rivers, skinny stray dogs everywhere, and all kinds of things that I’m just not exposed to at home. These are the “least of these” who Jesus was constantly helping, but lately I have felt myself battling daily to respond in a Christ-like way. There are moments when I am tempted to allow myself to turn off all emotion, to put up walls around my heart and close off my soul from feeling the weight of compassion. I have actually found myself feeling emotionless at times—almost as if my mind can’t comprehend how such pain and injustice is possible. Sometimes I even feel hopeless that I could do anything to change it. I’m finding that if I’m honest, I’d rather be comfortable. I’d rather not think about these hard things. I’d like to continue to live in my little happy place where I don’t see children without homes and people suffering in ways that I thought only happened in Biblical times. I’d rather let the hardest part of my day be getting a B on a test or wishing I had a better car.

And that is the destructive system that allows suffering to continue. When we settle with our “I’d rathers”, nothing changes. So there’s my selfishness, doubt and insecurity. When the reality of suffering is overwhelming, I’d rather live as if it didn’t happen, or doubt I can do anything to make a real change. I sometimes even believe that I’m not talented enough, competent enough, or confident enough to act.

The good news is that I’m learning to recognize a lie when I hear one! I truly believe that Satan tries to tell us each one of those things to try to slow down God’s kingdom. And he’d rather us not believe in him at all, so we never question the lies. So many times I don’t live as if the victory is already won, as if when Jesus said “It is finished”, it didn’t apply to my life. The only way to combat a lie is to replace it with truth, so open up your Bibles people! Here are the truths I’ve been dwelling on:

Romans 8:28—“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.” { aka: In the midst of my struggles and in the suffering here, God is constantly working for good. His thoughts and ways are far beyond mine. However, if he gave me passion for these issues, then I can trust that he has only the best in mind.}

Romans 12:21—“Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” {aka: Evil is GOING to try to overcome me. I can count on it. My tendencies to be selfish and doubtful aren’t from our God of love! If God is telling me to overcome evil with good, he’s going to make a way.}

2 Corinthians 12:9—“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in my weakness.’” {aka: The Cross is enough and has already accomplished victory over the hurt, the sadness and the struggles. Every injustice will be redeemed, or else God doesn’t exist. When I am weak, God’s strength shines even brighter. No credit can go to me for any good thing I’ll ever do.}

2 Timothy 1:7— “…for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.”

1 Timothy 1:12-13— “I thank him who has given me strength, Christ Jesus our Lord, because he judged me faithful, appointing me to his service, though formerly I was a blasphemer, persecutor and insolent opponent.” {I often believe I am what I FORMERLY was. Big difference. The truth is that Jesus judges me as faithful and has specifically appointed me to his service, which must mean I am fully capable of making a difference.}

Psalm 27:3—“Though an army encamp against me, my heart shall not fear; though war arise against me, yet I will be confident.”

Psalm 145: 8-9—“The Lord is gracious and merciful, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love. The Lord is good to all, and his mercy is over all that he has made.” {God has far more mercy and love for the people here than I could ever possibly have!}

God’s heart breaks for his people in Nepal at a depth that I can only hope to feel a glimpse of. Any sense of justice or compassion that I have comes from him alone. He never grows cold or numb to the hurt in our world—his fire for justice and love never goes out! How much more than me must he want redemption for the brokenness here? He is sovereign, he will redeem every injustice, he has made me capable, and he has specifically chosen and appointed me to do his work. It’s time to respond boldly—no lies holding me back!

{[So I should preface this by saying my original plan was to just have a short, quick-update blog, but we’re heading into a really exciting part of this trip, so I had to share!]}

I have to admit the first few weeks here were pretty difficult with all the new adjustments, but now that we’re settled in time is flying by! We just got back from our trip to Pokhara and Chitwan. I tweeted, “It’s a strange day when going back to Kathmandu feels like I’m finally home”. So true! This city has a way of growing on me (Figuratively speaking, of course. That would be strange.) After three weeks of intensive learning, discussing and visiting projects that deal with sex trafficking and orphans in Nepal, I finally have a fairly good grasp on the problems we are facing. Now it’s time to act! While the first three weeks were designed to let us get to know Tiny Hand’s mission and learn about these issues and what does and doesn’t work. Now we each get to do what we feel most passionate about individually. There are a few things to consider though:

1. When you think about sex trafficking, street children or orphans, what would your immediate plan of action be to help? A lot of people think that raiding brothels to rescue girls is the best idea. Many organizations give street children money, food, blankets, etc. While these are certainly loving and maybe even heroic acts, we have been learning about why these may not actually be helpful. For example, while we absolutely want to get girls out of forced prostitution, rescuing those girls actually only creates a higher demand for new girls to be trafficked to take their place. It creates a problem where girls are pulled through the system (one girl trafficked for every one saved), so unless the brothel is shut down it actually may be more harmful than helpful to raid. In the case of street kids, they are usually controlled by “big bosses” or older men or boys who basically make the kids beg for their own profit. So the more money and things they are given, the more it profits the big bosses, which increases demand and fuels the problem. So what to do? We have had many discussions with John where he explained Tiny Hands’ approach. They are attempting to stop the problems before they even happen by rescuing girls at the border and by finding out when children are orphaned (through various connections and Nepali churches) to get them into homes. It’s a really incredible mission because it saves the girls and kids before they get to brothels or on the streets.

2. The second thing is time—we only have three more weeks to help. That doesn’t seem like nearly enough time in light of how prominent and impossible these problems seem. Also, Tiny Hands does an incredible job at finding Nepali staff to do the most hands-on jobs, so I wasn’t sure what we were going to be able to do that would be hands-on, significant and make an eternal difference. Today we got together as a team and discussed and prayed about what each one of us was feeling the most strongly about, and then we get to meet up with John one-on-one over the next couple of days. So remember what I blogged about dreaming big dreams? It applies to us as well! John and Tiny Hands really believe that each of us are here for a specific reason and purpose, and he is letting us get as creative as we want. After talking as a team today, it’s obvious that every one of us has a unique and exciting calling. It was like seeing the body of Christ working together in perfect unity—each very different , but very necessary.

For example, Hannah is incredible creative! She has the idea of painting murals on a wall in each children’s home. She wants to use art to help the kids think creatively (the art classes here are basically copying what the teacher puts on the board—not okay!) and learn how to represent what they care about through art. A few people are passionate about the street children and might set up football, aka soccer, camps to give them something fun and positive to do and to tell them about Jesus. Matt is extremely intelligent and intellectual and wants to make devotionals for each home based on the theme of their home (peace, beloved, holy, etc). Tanner is very hands-on and wants to help work on construction at the Dream Center. Kyra likes to work behind the scenes, so she wants to help with research and analysis. These are only a few examples! I’ve been thinking about what I want to do. My biggest passion is by far working in women’s ministry, and I’ve been really hoping I could do something hands-on with the girls here. It seemed impossible at first because they are rescued by the border, which is a long way from Kathmandu. After praying and hearing from other teams, I finally have an idea of what I could do. There are many dance bars around Kathmandu where girls dance for entertainment (it’s not like a strip club, but similar idea). While the girls aren’t trafficked into the clubs, many of them are basically economic slaves to the job. They are often sent to Kathmandu by their families to find work and send money home, but unfortunately the economic opportunities for women are very few here. The men who run the dance clubs know this and are quick to offer the girls a place to stay and work. While many choose to dance and like their job, most don’t have much of a choice unless they want to be on the streets (which I’m going to go ahead and say is no choice at all). I see it as a form of slavery that could be prevented if the girls were educated and taught other skills and trades.

One of Tiny Hands’ passions is definitely women’s empowerment. They have gone through years of trial and error trying to find what works best to give women effective and lasting economic positions (and I mean LOTS of trial and error—John explained the long process to us. They are determined to find what works!). So basically, what we would do is go to the dance bars and simply begin talking to the girls and developing relationships with them. There was a team here before us that told us that they had gone a couple times and that the girls were friendly, generally open to talking and usually spoke good English. My idea, if it worked out, would be to go every night and try to build relationships with the girls outside of the bars. So maybe ask them to coffee or to hang out with us girls during the day. I would absolutely love to share friendship and the freedom of knowing Christ with them! The long-term goal would be to connect them to Tiny Hands, or a partnering ministry called Agape, to help them find jobs, education or learn skills to empower them to be economically free.

I’ll get to talk to John either tomorrow or the next day about the details, so please be praying for direction and open doors! Isn’t it awesome that the president of an organization is sitting down with us one-on-one?? I think it is! Only three more weeks until I’m home, and I still have so much I want to do! I guess I wouldn’t mind seeing y’all soon though ;-) (Can you tell some of our team members are from the south? I got my southern drawl going on!) Jaimashi!

Although everything in Pokhara was great, the Dream Center was by far my favorite part.  We drove about 20 minutes outside Pokhara to the land Tiny Hands has purchased to start making this dream a reality. When we got there, John told us the story and vision of the Dream Center. Basically, they want to create a place where there are 6-8 children’s homes, a school, housing for teachers, and a School of Injustice for college students to come and study about world injustices for a semester, dorms for visitors, a common area, etc.  To prep this though, you have to understand how John and the Tiny Hands staff think. It’s hard to explain! Every single decision they make is carefully thought out and must be the very best and most Godly way of doing things. The education system in Nepal is terrible (basically rote learning where kids know how to memorize and cheat, but don’t have hardly any critical thinking or creativity skills). So they have done extensive research to create a whole new educational system that will be the most effective and most beneficial. They wanted the land to be somewhere beautiful. About five years ago, the Nepali house parents at Holy Home said that they had a vision of a house on a cliff. They didn’t know what it meant at the time, but knew it was from God. Now the Dream Center land is located and by far the most beautiful place in Nepal I’ve seen so far. It is high on a cliff surrounded by mountains and forest with the river running at the bottom of the cliff. They want it to be self-sustaining by having about 1/3 of the students be from wealthier families of Nepal (people will pay to have American/ English speaking teachers), but also have 1/3 of the students from Pokhara and the rest be the students living in the Children’s Homes. The idea is to reach out the widest range of children possible, because these will be the kids who will change Nepal and who will bring the gospel to this nation. John described it like “Creating the closest things to God’s Kingdom on Earth possible”.

What is hardest to communicate in this blog is just how vision and goal-oriented Tiny Hands is—without limits! They consider every possibility, in great detail, on how to best make this vision a reality. Nothing is ruled out. They even seriously looked into having the school be in tree houses! They want it to be fun, beautiful, and effective. There are plans for a track to go around the whole place for kids to ride their bikes or run, a football field (soccer, to us Americans), a playground, ziplines, tree houses, a lookout over the cliff, and a “magic forest”  with cabins in the forest for retreats.  So you would think having a soccer field wouldn’t be a big deal, but it’s actually a huge deal! Grass fields are almost impossible to come by in Nepal because everything is muddy, rocky, or trashed. The Dream Center now has a giant grass field, but only after extensive research on how to make it lasting and a ton of physical work. They had to level the whole area, remove all the rocks, and create a homemade drainage system for all the monsoon-season rain (remember, this is all being done by hand). They had to dig three trenches, lay big stones, small stones, install a pipe with holes in it, then lay small rocks, big rocks, landscaping material, and then finally dirt. They had to plant the grass, by hand, along every inch of the field. It’s now a huge, flourishing grassy field that won’t turn into mud when the kids play on it! It doesn’t seem like a big deal to those of us that grew up with grass yards, but it is a huge deal in Nepal. I couldn’t believe the effort and determination it took just so that the kids could have a place to play. 

 John said, “All of our answers are nothing compared to what God has shown us.” He also asked a question that I have never thought specifically about. He asked, “What is the best imaginable life you can think?” and said, “Go do it!” As cliché as this sounds, seeing this vision of the Dream Center becoming a reality made me realize how much I limit my dreaming. We all say “Dream big!”, “Be whatever you want to be!”, yet we allow our society and our own securities to make our dreams human-sized instead of God-sized. I have some BIG dream, but they seem like they are in some far-off land that isn’t reality. When in my life did I start believing that my dreams can’t be reality? At what age are we told that our dreams might be a little too out of reach, a little too unrealistic? God gave me my desires and my passions because he has big plans for me and for his kingdom! So many times we don’t get to experience what we truly want to do because we don’t believe that it can actually happen. The Dream Center helped me see that with a vision, planning, hard work and education, and believing that God has more in mind than I can possibly imagine, big dreams do become reality. We just have to be a little crazy, have a lot of faith, and say no thanks to society’s limitations!

Google pictures of Pokhara and you’ll see it really is one of the most beautiful places in the world with it’s mountainous view, lakes and rivers (although pictures will never do it justice!). Tiny Hands has four Children’s Homes in this smaller city and it is where they are beginning to build the Dream Center (I’ll blog more about that later). Although it’s only about 80 miles away, it was about a seven-hour van ride to get there through winding, mountainous roads. Imagine driving over the worst potholes you’ve ever been on while taking sharp left and right turns at high speeds for seven hours with no A/C…I don’t think I’m going to complain about the roads in Lincoln anymore! As crazy as the drive was, it was mesmerizing. I’ve never seen mountains like that before (maybe because I’m from Nebraska?)! The road followed the Sitha River, which cut it’s way through the mountains and showed us the way to our new destination. The entire way there were little shacks and shops and rice patties everywhere that the land was level enough to live. There was corn planted on extremely steep mountainsides with rope lines to help climb to the fields. After living on the flat plains of Nebraska, I couldn’t believe the amount of work these Nepalis would have to go through to make a profit on these mountainsides. The entire seven hours I stared at the window listening to worship music. The views were breathtaking! 

The city of Pokhara itself is much smaller and less hectic than Kathmandu. I felt a little more at home there! Over the span of our four-day stay, we visited Bethany Home, Peace Home, Holy Home, and Beloved Home. The kids in Pokhara are a little more used to visitors than those in Kathmandu, so they ran to the door to greeting us with an enthusiastic “Jaimashi!” (which means “He is Risen!” or “Victory in Christ”). It was so sweet! The boy stayed outside and played soccer in the pouring rain while we sat inside and read and played with the girls. They held our hands, hugged us, sat on our laps, and laughed with us. The joy in the homes was almost tangible! The home parents in Pokhara speak very good English, so we were able to talk with them more than the parents in Kathmandu, although all the parents are always very accommodating and hospitable!  At Bethany Home, the house father, Raju, actually told us his testimony. Him and his wife only started their home about three months ago, and told us of the difficulties and the joys of having about 15 new children (most are very young!). Watching him interact with them was truly a gift. He was very affectionate, fun, and truly loving to his new kids. He also had an authoritive manner about him that called for respect and order in the house. The kids have a very structured schedule, with school study time, Bible study time, play time, school, meals, and bed time all carefully planned. He explained to us that they are trying to instill a sense of discipline and worth into the kids, because they really have no concept of either of those when they come to the home.

Raju himself grew up in orphanages in India. His parents died when he was very young and he went from home to home, until eventually he ended up at his aunt and uncles. They were verbally abusive, always telling him that he was worthless. So he left and moved to Kathmandu where he began abusing drugs and alcohol and was living on the streets. Through various circumstances, he met some friends who were believers in Jesus Christ, who asked him stay with them. They took him to church and began pouring into his life. He gave his life to Christ and felt God calling him to make a difference in the lives of children who had suffered the way he had. With a smile, he said at first he wanted to “be a Christian but still make lots of money”. Soon, he realized he was more passionate about helping children who had grown up the way he had, so he spent his last four years in India working in the orphanages for four years. He then moved back to Nepal and heard about Tiny Hands. He and his wife decided to be the parents in Bethany Home just three months ago. He is honest about the struggles for both them as parents and the children, but personally understands what his kids have gone through and understands how to help them. I absolutely loved his story! It’s another story of the gospel, of how God takes bad and changes it for our good, of how Christ can redeem even the worst situations.

We also got to go on a sunrise hike and saw the white-capped Himalayas looming high above the city. We got to do a little souvenir shopping, ate lots of good desserts, and played some intense games of Mafia. We went on motorcycle rides around the mountains and across the river (no bridge—literally rode through the river!) and I got to stand in the freezing cold streams of water running straight out of the mountains into the rice patties. I got to go on runs with Nepalis staring at me like I was crazy (apparently people around here don’t go for runs for fun), and best of all, I got to spend a lot of time with Jesus over some delicious Nepali tea.  Needless to say, our four days in Pokhra were incredible, insightful, and absolutely flew by!

Our visits to the Children’s Homes have been truly sweet experiences. I was a little worried before going, because although I love kids, I wasn’t sure if I’d know how to handle the language barrier or the sadness of their stories. Besides that, playing with kids is something that takes all of my effort and energy (unless it’s my niece or nephews, of course), so I had no idea what to expect!

There are four of these homes in Kathmandu (we are going to go visit four more in Pokhra this week!): Peace, One Way, Cyrene, and Living Children’s Homes. Each one has about 10-15 kids and parents who they call mom and dad. The process for finding parents is a long and difficult one. Tiny Hands is very specific about the characteristics of these couples because they are the parents that these children never had. They evaluate and train the parents in nutrition, discipline, and other important characteristics like loving touch, affection, affirmation, etc. Part of the selection process is even to have the parents hold a baby in front of the staff! Tiny Hands, and John specifically, are very interested in what research says about parent skills and the outcome for children. All the parents we have been blessed to meet have been truly amazing and gifted people! They share the love of Christ with their new children and love and raise them the way they would love and raise their own children. I can’t imagine taking on 10-15 children who all have difficult or unknown backgrounds (especially at Cyrene—the all-boys home!). What incredibly brave and called people!

Welp, all my worries about interacting with the kids quickly disappeared after visiting our first home. I can’t imagine more precious and adorable kids. It always takes a few minutes for them to warm up to us, but then we spend the next few hours playing games, singing, drawing, laughing, and taking pictures (the kids LOVE to use our cameras). Most of the kids know English fairly well, and I must say our Nepali language lessons have been very helpful (Mero  naam Taylor ho. My name is Taylor!). We played soccer at One-Way and I can honestly say I haven’t laughed that hard since I’ve been here (and we’ve done a lot of laughing!). Despite their pasts, the children are just like any other children—curious, full of life, innocent, and hopeful. They are a great reminder of what child-like faith looks like. I can’t wait to visit the homes in Pokhra this week! It makes me truly thankful for Tiny Hands and their work to bring freedom and joy to the “least of these”. 

Namaste!

Hope everything has been going great at home! I can’t believe the experiences I have had and the things I have been learning since I last blogged. We have been crazy busy visiting Tiny Hand’s Children’s Homes, exploring different cultural parts of the city, taking Nepali language lessons (ekdam raamro!), and having discussions with John, the president of Tiny Hands.

One of the most unique and eye-opening experiences I have had so far was our visit to Pashupati. It is an epithet of the Hindu god Shiva in Kathmandu where Hindus go to cremate the dead and where many of the Hindu temples are located. I was anxious and nervous to visit a place so different to me and so sacred to these people. I have always been very interested in other world religions and how they differ from my beliefs. I believe very strongly that as a follow of Christ, I need to know why I believe what I believe—why it is reasonable to believe in one sovereign, loving, and just God, why I don’t believe in reincarnation, why I believe the resurrection is a true and historical act that changed all of history, why I’m not Buddhist, Hindu, etc. We can’t have all the answers, certainly, but I think there is definitely a lot of value in understanding others’ beliefs.

I don’t want to live in a box. I am always looking for reasons why the Gospel of Jesus Christ is reasonable and true. One of my biggest fears in blogging about Hinduism is that I know that our society values this idea of “relativism”—basically “whatever you believe is true for you, whatever I believe is true for me”. It seems tolerant and freeing, but when you really think about it, there’s no way that everything is true and I really do believe there is one Truth that we all have an opportunity to hear about. Anyway, long story short, I’m nervous to talk about Hinduism and want to do so with respect and honesty. In seeing this religion so hands-on and living in the midst of the culture, I have developed a deep respect for the Hindu faith, but I can’t deny that I have also discovered the depravity and emptiness of these beliefs.

We had a tour guide to explain everything we were seeing and all the stories, rituals and traditions of Hinduism. This is going to be a very basic and general description, but basically, the Hindu people worship 33-34 million gods, although the main gods are Lord Shiva, Vishnu and Brahma (we got to hear the legends behind these gods from the tour guide). Bagmati River runs through Pashupati and this is where the souls of the cremated travel to their next life through reincarnation. We actually got to see a family going through the rituals of cremating a body. It is a long, detailed process that has a lot of requirements and cleansings.  The idea behind reincarnation is basically karma—the amount of good you do in your life will directly affect what you’ll be in the next life. The goal is to eventually be good enough—over several lives—to reach a state of “nirvana”, or complete nothingness to escape the pain of life (more modern beliefs consider nirvana more of a heaven than nothingness, which is a little less depressing, I suppose).  The tour guide was an incredible intelligent Nepali man who knew the answer to every question we asked. He explained (in basic terms) that Hinduism really revolves around the worship of sex and marijuana. I could go into a lot more detail, but I encourage you to look up the details yourself.

{A little side note about our tour guide…before we left to visit Pashupati, I prayed that God would show me how he could possibly be true and real even in the midst of an entirely different world religion. I assumed the tour guide was a Hindu man as he knew an incredible amount about the religion, but the more he talked, the more I got the feeling that he didn’t believe what he was saying. It was more like an unbiased history lesson or something. So I finally got the courage up to ask him if he believed everything he was telling us. He smiled at me, and in his Nepali accent, explained that he actually came back to Nepal after living in Great Britain because he thought Hinduism would be a freeing, peaceful religion. He said at first it was like “heaven on Earth” because sex and marijuana were the most acceptable forms of worship. He said he worshipped whatever Hindu gods he wanted for 20 years. But then, he said his health began failing and he felt empty and depressed.  Quietly, he said “I knew of the Good Book, and I found the Lord”. The Hindu gods, the sex, the marijuana, and the controlling rituals couldn’t satisfy the God-sized hole in his heart. I asked him if it was difficult to give tours of Hindu temples while being a believer in Christ, and he said “Though I walk to through the valley of the shadow of death, I shall fear no evil for I know the Lord my God is with me” and gave me a knowing-smile. I couldn’t believe God had so clearly answered my prayer! In the midst of the spiritual weight of that tour, God showed me he is present and active even in the midst of man-made idol worship and empty ritual. }

A few realizations I had while processing this visit:

-The God of the Bible makes outrageous claims about His single and ultimate sovereignty over everything on Earth and in the universe. Therefore, as his creation, we are called to worship our Creator. The Hindu gods, to me, seemed very man-made and controlled by preference of man. No single one Hindu god claims the same all-knowing, all-powerful characteristics of God the Father. The 33-34 million gods then, are more a way to satisfy every human want and need the way humans want to do it. Instead of worshipping God for all of his characteristics, they worship everything separately. I don’t believe all of those gods could work together in the perfect unity the way God’s characteristics do (example, perfectly balancing love and justice).

-Each year, the Hindu people sprinkle water on the head of the god of destruction to try to cool him down to prevent him from eventually destroying the world. Yet, there is also the belief that someday, good will triumph evil (a knowledge that I believe God puts in all of us innately). There is a worship of evil and destruction, yet a hope for ultimate good, which doesn’t make sense. Also, if this god of destruction truly had power, then how could he possibly be contained by a small human act once a year? I don’t think that I could believe in a god that could be contained by a little sprinkling of water on his head (the same way our faith can’t be made up of ritual acts—He wants my whole mind, heart and soul!)

-The Hindu belief that good will eventually trump evil is valid—don’t we all have that innate knowledge? Isn’t that what all of our movies and books are about? It is the story of God redeeming the entire world, repaying every injustice and restoring all pain and evil to his original plan through Jesus Christ. We all love those stories because that is our story. The Hindu people believe in God’s redemptive story also, but they try to attain it by “being good enough” to reach a state where they either totally escape all earthly pain or reach a heaven-like state. I’ve tried time and time again to be “good enough”, but find every time I will never quite measure up. I am thankful for my need for me Creator and Savior because I will never be good enough on my own!

-The worship of sex and marijuana is the selfishness of human desire in its utmost. I truly think that it is an example of making creation into god instead of worshipping the Creator of both of those things. Sex was given to us as a gift from God, not to be a god itself (although we tend to do that in our society too, yes?).

-So why then, do millions of people worship Hindu idols? John made a great point about this. In short, he said that world beliefs and religions will be wide-spread and lasting only if 1. It was forced or if 2. It is true. For example, Nepal is a Hindu state, by order of the constitution. Families disown family members who don’t practice Hinduism and the government has policies that punish people who don’t follow Hindu ritual, so of course people are Hindus. However, the body of Christ thrives where it is not forced and has lasted for 2,000 years without being a requirement from government officials. While America is a “Christian” nation, allowing people their own beliefs actually makes for the true, free Gospel to be made known. (In history, Christianity actually hasn’t worked when it was a required religion, because that is not the true Gospel of Christ!). While man often messes up what God has for his church, the body of Christ isn’t a set of rules, required rituals, or made-up idols to please ourselves. I answer to a God who makes claims no other god ever has and who is giving me a choice to believe in him because he wants my whole heart, not just the motions.

I still want to learn more about the Hindu faith and other world religions, and I recognize there is still much I don’t know. However, I am thankful that this experience rooted my faith in Christ even deeper.